One Source Energy

I have had one of those moments in time that take your breath away.

One of those visions of the world being thrust into creation.

I have found my stage and I am prepared to step up and hear my calling.

I have been told all of my life, by almost every psychic, healer, teacher or guide that has come into my journey to help me channel that which is myself, into the full consciousness of my being, that I would speak to large crowds of people.  Or that I would stand on a stage talking to people.

I used to scoff.  “I’m not a public speaker!” Oh sure, I can speak, I can speak really well.  For hours, and hours, and hours in fact.  But put me into a crowd of people and well, quite frankly, the energy is just too much for me.  Its scattered, fractured, tormented, excited.  Its in love, its in lust, its in jealousy, anxiousness and a million different fears, hopes, dreams, disappointments, judgements and so on and so on and so on.

I have to stop and refocus my intent just thinking about crowds.  But it doesn’t mean I don’t have something to say.  I mean don’t we all? People like me? People like you.  For I am you.  You are me.  We are all one.

Everyday, if you are capable of it, you walk past or you have contact with people.  There are some random strangers that you would be pretty much guaranteed to see every day as well.  The local guy that sells the paper.  The bus driver.  That woman in the blue car who starts work at the same time as you do and parks in the same car-park as you every morning.

If your aware of the fact that we are all one your day shifts dramatically from the first moment you consciously remember it.  You smile at them, because you know them.  You wave and say hello because you are their friend.  You hold your hand out to pick them up if they fall over because you love them.  You hold them in comfort when they are sad because they are you.  You become less aware of the singular battles you face and more aligned with the battles that we face as one.  The bigger global things that we must heal.  For it is only as one source energy, that we posses enough focus to allow this healing to occur.

There are many more voices like mine, like yours. Speaking out and saying ‘its time for a change.’  The problem is that so many people are saying that whilst sitting back wondering what coloured socks to wear tomorrow that change is hanging around the corner still waiting for permission to draw us into a truer, more fitting reality.

The Earth is in need of us.  We have stamped upon her, we have poisoned her, we have tried in every which way we can to destroy her and she is saying “enough.” As gently as she can.  Isn’t it time we loved her.  When was the last time you appreciated a blade of grass.  I’m quite serious. I can’t make you go outside and look at it until you see its beauty and are reminded of the grace and the blessing within every part of this planet. But I damn well recommend it.  I would say ‘stop to the feed the Ants’ but some of my facebook friends wouldn’t find that all to strange a request as they know that I tend to do things like that.

I know people that think the fact that they recycle makes them ‘earth friendly’ They will still fire a can of aerosol, insect murdering, vapour into the air willy nilly at the hint of a living creature in their house.  I find it highly offensive.  They are native. They were here first.  We give them every possible opportunity to have the best life they can find for themselves and then we jump on a chair or we try to find the perfect way of eradicating as many of them as we can.  I hate to tell you spider phobics, snake phobics, cockroach phobics, caterpillar (*cough cough cough*) phobics but they are you as well!

Ah yes, now we get into the more controversial side of it do we not?
OH MY GOD this crazy woman is telling me that I am one with a cockroach! Yes, yes take some time and have a little giggle.  I shall explain though.

One Source Energy.

There you go, you thought it was going to be a long winded, in depth explanation didn’t you? No.  There is only truth, which is, that there is no separation.

My guides have never given me names.  They have always impressed on me the importance of not separating myself from them, and therefore not separating myself from everybody else.  I have, in fact, had the conversations many times because when you first open your eyes to a deeper perception of this life that we live, one of the first things you learn is about the presence of these guides.

Generally you will also find yourself surrounded by people who are prepared to help you physically understand how to start.  And these people will frequently reel off a list of the names of their own guides within assisting you to find yours.

Naturally the first question you ask when you feel you are ready is :
“who are you?”
My stock answer that I always receive is
“Greetings my child.”
And I will say, “who are you?’ again and they will say.
“It matters not who we are only that we are here.”
I have actually on some occasions been pissed off and demanded names and I have always been told the same thing.

“It doesn’t matter what you call us, there is no separation.  We are no better nor worse then you, you are no better, nor worse then anyone.  We are one.  We are all one.”

Names and labels cease to exist in a world of non judgement and unconditional love.

My soul name however I was allowed to know and it serves me greatly for the purpose of centring myself.  My souls name is Atheekial.  I guess for all intents and purposes I would be classed as a joker.  My main reason for ‘being’ is to help, to heal and to encourage laughter wherever possible.  Because it is, always, possible.  Even in our saddest moments it can be bought forth by the right memory.

The fact that my guides never gave me names however is important only because it emphasises the point of One Source Energy.  That was my remembering.  I will clarify here because that word is used out of context for some.  When I say remembering I mean that I am relearning something I have once know before.  Every lesson we have, every step forward we make is bought about by a remembering.

Now I will also take a quick side step here because I also feel the need to briefly explain to those who are entering that growth moment of wanting to know your guides, how to contact them.  Feel free to skip ahead if you know this but it is rather important.

ASK.

That’s it.  Once again you thought there was going to be a long in depth discussion didn’t you? No.  None of this is hard people.  All of this exists within us already.  You can read a million books and hear a million different point of views but essentially it always comes down to this.

Give yourself permission to be who you are to the fullest extent of your being.

Relax.  Ask to be protected.  Allow yourself to release fear and be confident, because believe me, there is not one single living entity that doesn’t have free and constant access to their own one source energy self.

That is the entity that is your soul.  Your soul generally resides mostly in an ascended state.  Connected constantly to the One Source Energy. It is the thing through which your guidance is channelled. Without contact with your one source self, that which some may know as ‘higher self’ (but I don’t go for the level type of wording) For it isn’t higher then you.  When people hear the word ‘higher’ they are instantly imagining some unreachable self in the stars.  Once again, it’s not that hard people.

Your ‘higher’ self walks beside you always.  Like your shadow, only it’s brighter in the dark, unlike your shadow. Your One Source Self is the one who consoles you in your darkest moments, it’s that tiny voice inside that says, “you can do this.” “Your going to be ok.” How much you listen and how loud its voice becomes is a choice you make in the moment.

I have conversed often with the “voices of the universe.” Much more frequently these days though, as I seem to have shifted into a different vibration of beingness.  I also am quite convinced that one day spell check will acknowledge the language we have created.

For instance, one word that springs to mind that spell check absolutely refuses to allow is ‘sunject.’  In previous conversations it has been explained to me that the word sub-ject suggests ‘lower then’  Sub meaning below.  (Like sub-conscious – deeper then the conscious level of our reality.)

Whereas the conversations that spring forth between these entities and myself are far from ‘low’ conversations.  Therefore it became apparent in my days of automatic writing that they were not, as I had thought, spelling the word the wrong every time they wrote it.  They were in fact misspelling it for a reason.  A sunject, as they explained, it a much brighter topic of conversation.  After all, who are we to be limited by something just because the world knows nothing else.   Yet.

Yet, being the operative word naturally.  For all around us there are shifts of such gigantic proportions right now, that there are millions of people stumbling around not knowing where to turn.  I see friends, best friends.  Going through such turmoil.  How I would love to shake them by the shoulders and make them believe what I believe.  Make them feel what I feel.  I can’t of course.  I have actually tried on numerous occasions but it just doesn’t work like that.

I do not have any of my own physical children, I have never given birth and I don’t pretend to understand how that must feel, to watch a tiny helpless human being enter the world and open their eyes to an entire new life.  And yet a rather large part of me feels like I am doing that every day, in every place I look there are helpless human beings opening their eyes to a brand new life.  Sometimes I want to run up to strangers and hug them and say “May I be the first to say ‘Welcome’”.

Welcome, because it is a whole new life.  People talk of past lives in reference to other physical existences but I’m not overly sure that to many people class this life time as being stages of lives.  We have past lives within lives.  In a recent past life I experienced the deepest loss I had ever physically encountered.  The fact that I can say it happened in a past life, moves it to the place where it needs to be in order for me to be aligned in my present life.

It allows me to laugh with the memories of the huge amounts of moments that preceded the loss.  Those moments of the ‘having.’  Because it’s easy to stay stuck in loss.  The unfortunate truth is that we are all here for whatever time we are here for and then we leave.  There is possibly never going to be a time when the world will accept death as beautiful.  But it is.  Because it is a part of life.  Really it’s just a shifting of dimension but lets leave that sunject for another time!

There are a million different beliefs on life and death and how we should perceive it.  I think the best explanation I can give is that life is here because we choose it to be.  The meaning of life as far as I’m concerned is to find your meaning in life.  That’s why there is no answer to that question.  Not just one anyway.  There is an answer for every person on the planet, you just have to stop asking the question externally and start asking internally.

There has been such a raging debate for way to many years about the places we deem to be Heaven and Hell.  About religions, gods, land, money, power, ego, greed.  Fight fight fight.  Where has it actually gotten anyone? May I be so bold as to simply suggest, WHO CARES?

If your neighbour believes the tree in their back garden is purple, (go with me here) you can see its brown and its green, but they quite firmly tell you, no.  Its purple.  You get a second opinion.  A man walking down the street gets called in.  “Oi, is this tree brown and green or is it purple?” the man from the street stands back, cocks his head,  looks at the tree and says “no man, its like a yellowy colour”
“no no no!” you say. “there’s no way its purple and its certainly not yellow!” a third opinion is called upon. Another neighbour enters the debate with the opinion that actually you are all wrong, the tree is blue.  He says it with such confidence that the man who thought it was yellow may now concede it could actually be a purpley colour because of the green and the blue and the yellow mixing.  You now think he is crazy and that your second opinion didn’t count and around and around in circles you go.

Now I can tell a few people would be sitting back saying, where on Earth is this leading to? What is she going on about and do we really care? A Tree is a tree.  And THAT is my point.

A tree is a tree.  It brings life by purifying our air, it fertilises the ground and it nourishes all kinds of wildlife.  Who cares what colour it is? It gives us life.  We all (well most of us) love and respect trees.  Yet we don’t argue about what shape or size or colour they are, why? Well because we can see them of course.  Isn’t it funny how a familiar perspective changes things.

Why is Faith any different?  We all know what its like to feel faith, who are we to dictate how anyone else perceives it though.  You can’t see faith but you know its there.  It’s the same vibration in everyone who feels it.  Why do we care where it comes from or what people call it, why can we not just say.  “Another part of me experiences faith in a different way to how I do, but I am glad that they know it to be there however it is manifested in them.”

If we could all see that we are all one source energy, that there is no separation perhaps we would care less about who gets called what and which person wears what clothes.  I am guessing that there aren’t a whole lot of people that enjoy getting told what they should be doing and when they should be doing it.  Therefore why do we ever think its ok to tell someone else what they should be doing and why they should be doing it?

‘Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself” I’m not actually going to look up that quote to get the wording right, but we all know it.  We all know what its meaning is and yet still there is an outcry on the television tonight about some famous woman wearing a ‘burkini’ it’s a swim suit that covers all of you.  Yes its made for Muslim women.  Is it a good idea? Yep! Id wear one! I burn after three and a half seconds in the sun. Why not cover up and avoid the pain.  But oh no, the media are up in arms, portraying this to be a religious (or anti religious) act. Oh come on people WHO CARES? Seriously!

So I look out on a crowd of people, and in any given crowd of people you have a mixture of different personalities, each and every individual has opinions, issues, dreams, fears, and all sorts of other complex emotions that together merge to create the one whole person.  Dissecting those individual components that complete a human being is a pointless exercise because it would be endless.  I see this as a whole.

What I mean by that, is that we see all of that relatively easily when we look at an individual, but why do we not see that as easily when we look also at a crowd? What is the difference? There isn’t one.  Because we are all one.  As equally as many components make up an individual, many components that make up a crowd make up a single unit as well.  The end result is still a single energy.

There is no easy way to simplify this very vital fact of life.  You can (and indeed ultimately have to) multiply and amplify that to include the entire world.  Not just people.  Animals, trees, everything.  We are all one.  One source energy.  Whilst we may perceive separation, ultimately there isn’t any.  When you hurt another, you hurt yourself.  When you judge another, you are judging yourself.  Your fears hold you back from seeing what could ultimately be classed as ascension.  That faster vibration, that is, in essence, Heaven on Earth.

The planet at the moment is full of people searching.  Searching for answers, for clues as to why they are experiencing what they are experiencing at this particular time.  If I could only say one thing to the world right now I would say this.

Whilst you are searching - and that is a truly wonderful process - always remember that the only person who holds any answers to anything that you are searching for is yourself.

I have heard every excuse in the book, and used most of them myself at least twice, when it comes to ways to avoid looking within.  Naturally the most common one is “I don’t know how.” But it is as easy as breathing.  We breathe without thinking about what we are doing. We don’t consciously make the inhalation and exhalation of breath occur and yet it does.

I am here to remind you (because you already know this) that seeking guidance from the source of yourself is as easy as breathing and is happening on a sunconcious level constantly.  All you need to do is listen.  Let go of doubt.  Let go of ego and Judgement and fear.  And listen.

People often turn to psychics to tell them the future.  I myself am most excited to be going to see a very highly thought of psychic next week and yet I also find myself understanding that what I will hear is confirmation of that which I already know.

Again this is something my guides and I have often discussed, (I am getting tapped on the shoulder over the wording of this sentence already as it suggests separation from myself and my guides, but for ease of the explanation I shall leave it as it is.)

I experience clairaudience, clairsentience, Clairalience, Claircognazance and clairvoyance. Basically I can hear, feel, smell and know but not really physically see as well as others I know. (yet) I say this not out of an ego based need for a clap, but rather to explain that we all have these gifts.  Also to suggest that we are saying, spelling and understanding these words wrongly.  If we remember that these are actually ‘clear’ pathways to our much neglected other senses life becomes a little easier.

Clear Audience – hearing the voice of spirit, of guidance.

Clear Voyance – reading the directions of the map we have chosen in order to reach the destination we have also chosen.

Clear Sentience – the ability to align with the energy stored in a physical thing. (such as a ring or necklace for example)

Clear Cognizance – The ability to physically smell things that are not physically present.

Clair is French for Clear. The word IS clear. Let’s not confuse things any more.  We are all capable of all these things, they are no different to seeing.  We need to open our eyes to do that.  They are no different to hearing, we must learn speech to communicate must we not?

We must learn to use these gifts but they are present in all of us, no one person is gifted more then any other, only that some people have a clearer ability due to having more confidence in it and more understanding of how to access it. And so in saying that when it comes to my visit to this psychic this week I go for confirmation of what I already feel and suspect to be truth.

I will be told that I have fallen into a pattern of seeing my single life as the way that I cope best with this physical reality.  That I have a fear of letting another person into my life on an intimate level because in doing that I am opening myself up to the very core of my being for another human being and in my mind for some reason when I do that all I see is a dart board  on my chest.

We are a fallible race.  Yet I accept this as one of my lessons and I accept my reality for that which it is.  And above all I am happy. But still the thought of someone offering me an external hope is lovely! Let me for a moment hand over the responsibility of reading my own life and let someone else do it!

The psychic will tell me that someone is very close to walking into my life and the minute I free myself and open the door for them, they will appear.

I have become insanely good at stating that I don’t need or want a relationship.  It’s crap of course.  We all want a relationship.  I just don’t want a relationshit.

I want a friendship, a deep love and mutual cherishing with another being that isn’t based on aesthetics or finances or job satisfaction or states of health and which addictions you may or may not be afflicted with and what colour your hair is or your eyes are.  Someone who plays the game of life in honesty and pure intent, and doesn’t hide themselves behind mind games and pointless jealous accusations.  I want someone to walk through life with, to laugh with, and cry with and fight life’s battles with.

‘With’ being the important word there.  Not fight battles for, or fight battles against.
I see so many people maintaining unhappy relationshits just because they don’t want to be alone, or they think they wont find someone else, or simply because it has become a comfortable habit.  Like an old pair of shoes that if you wore in the rain your feet would get wet through the many holes, they give you blisters and the shoelaces are frayed but you cant bring yourself to throw them out.

I don’t want to get locked into a power struggle with someone, who loves who more, who does more for whom, who can be the most romantic, the most forgiving, the most giving.  It all adds up to hurt.  You can’t be someone else’s happiness and the moment the suggestion of that becomes reality its all over.

You have a day off work one day and you clean off and repaint her outside furniture for her thinking to yourself ‘she’s going to love me for this’  she comes home sees the fact you didn’t do this dishes and thinks.  Lazy bastards done nothing all day.  Its not till weeks later after you have broken up because neither one of you thinks the other appreciates you that she goes outside and thinks ‘does that furniture look a bit different?’

Communication.  Its all about that.  If she had said ‘id love it if you could just do the dishes for me today.’ Or if you had said ‘oh honey I thought Id clean and paint the furniture today, what do you think?’ instead of assuming things of each other and pretending that you don’t have expectations of each other, and trying to please each other.   It probably would have had a different outcome.  Talk to each other.

It’s no good trying to pull the old ‘I don’t have any expectations of you darling’ line, that’s crap and an expectation in itself.  The expectation is ‘your going to think more highly of me if I appear to have mastered the art of transcending expectations of others and just loving you for you.’ And anyone who falls for that line is also allowing the expectation of ‘your going to do things to please me’ because anyone and everyone knows on a deeper core level that there’s no way that statement can be true.

We expect our partner will help us with daily life chores.  We expect our partner will be there when we need them to be there.  We expect our partner to call if they are going to be late.  We expect our partner to tell us if they are upset with us.  We expect our partner to be honest and trustworthy. Need I continue? I think not.  Expectations are a part of life.  Communicating our expectations is the key.

(* please note that in the above example I am going with the fact that you do not live together.  If you live together and she needs to ask you to the dishes on your day off you ARE a lazy bastard and I don’t blame her for dumping your sorry ass.)

I see some people so full of ego that they think it’s something to boast about, having scores of people in love with them.  I shake my head sadly at them, because ultimately its not the ones who are in love with them and being tagged along like a puppet on string behind them that will find life the hardest, indeed it is those people who allow themselves to be dragged along that are usually the ones who come to their senses first and stand up and say “hang on! I deserve better then this!”

Which leaves the ego based ‘puppet master’ lost and alone and not knowing where to turn. They lean on those people that they drag behind them for support and comfort and yet they offer nothing back.  A one sided relationshit is always the first to fall apart. When the support and comfort is suddenly taken away by the unavoidable realisation of the puppet that it is no longer a healthy situation for them the ‘puppet master’ becomes a frightened powerless dictator.  It’s a foreign and empty world until they learn to see the error in trying to control people by manipulatating their emotions.

There are many other examples of power struggles that I could give but this is the most familiar to me.  It is also important to remember that as much as the puppet master may command, the puppet enables.  We are One Source Energy.  This is never not the case.  We give permission and we partake equally in these struggles.  My fear is in not finding another being who is prepared to communicate on a level that eradicates the need for these power struggles to occur.

Fears are one of our greatest allies and one of our most despised enemies.  Many would disagree I suppose, with me stating that fears are a good thing, but wait, there’s more.

For without fears what makes us check our intent? I’m of the opinion that along with the fact that ‘where there is light there is also darkness’ as well ‘where there is fear there is hope.’

Without negative we wouldn’t know the power of positive.  And whilst we strive to live in the positive we all know that without an awareness of what fears, darkness and negative emotions are, we would be completely unaware of those pinnacle moments of change and enlightenment.

Almost everyone I know struggles with abundance.  What I mean by that is that most people always want more then they have.  We are broke, we are unhappy, if we only had ‘this’ everything would be better, if only things were more like ‘that’ everything would be ok.

Wait.  Let me suggest this :

Life is not about abundance.  Life is not about how much stuff you have.  Life is about being able to walk in the skin of your own self with nothing else but a smile.  You may say you would feel better with that new car, but will you still feel better in a months time when you look at your bank account and you look at the car and you realise there is still an emptiness, maybe you need a better car and THEN it will feel better?

We get ourselves incredibly confused when it comes to manifesting our desires.  We think that in order to be happy we have to learn to manifest our dreams.  I say to you softly and with much love and respect.  That is the wrong way around.  We have to learn to be happy and THEN we are capable of manifest our dreams.

When we first delve into the world of manifesting we are greeted with books like ‘ask and it is given’ (with all due respect, a brilliant book) but when we pick it up are we thinking, ‘fabulous I can learn how to be happy’ or are our thoughts more along the lines of ‘fabulous, I can learn how to manifest myself enough money to be happy’?

You see life is not about abundance, life is about alignment.  I could reel off a list of the things I don’t have but in doing so I would affirming that there is the lack of things in my life.  When there isn’t.  I could also reel off a list of things that anger me, or things that I feel have been unfair.  But in truth, those moments have passed so why remind myself of them?

The point of power is in the present moment.  (Thank you Louise Hay) That is a key phrase to always remember.  In every given moment you have a choice.  No body else can make it for you.  People can suggest options but ultimately the only person who has any power over what you do, think or say is you.  If you decide a choice you made was wrong, the power is in the present moment to change that instantly.

Because nothing is ever wrong.  There is a reason for everything.  You may not like to accept the fullness of that statement, but it is truth.  ‘Wrong’ choices or ‘bad’ decisions only lead to learning lessons that you, on another plane of existence, decided you wanted to learn.

Life is a constantly turning and ever evolving cycle.  Our One Source Energy self has been a living entity for eternity.  It was born into creation at the very same time that the stars exploded into the universe.  May I add here that regardless of what you believe in terms of worshiping a figurehead to take responsibility for that action, the point I’m making is that, it happened.  And at that time our energy was born.  Because we are One Source of Energy.

Some like to say we were created in the image of God, or that we hold God in hearts.  (and when I say God I am referring to God, Goddess, Creator of all that is.) The Qur’an contains ninety nine names for Allah.  Judaism refers to 72 divine names and Vishnu has thousands of different names, so lets just say its safe to assume that this is the exact reason I am calling it ‘One Source Energy’  I am taking away the separation and the labels and the judgement and thereby including atheists and ‘don’t care’s’ into the global whole.

One Source Energy.

We manifest our own destinies, we dream our own dreams and we decide if we shall follow our heart or our heads on a daily basis.  We create life, we are bringers of death, we nurture and protect, and we judge and condemn.  We are ‘God’ people.  There is no separation.

The biggest thing that I am seeing people struggle with at the moment is ‘flow’. People are jumping in and out of it, or striving too hard to reach it, or trying to dam it up.  Let me suggest to you this, that as a part of One Source Energy you are an open channel.  Life, love and all the good stuff flows through you, you don’t need to hold on to it because it is infinite.

Imagine a hose pipe.  Water flows through at a rapid steady pace when there is no kinks or blockages in the hose right?  Understand that there is no limit to the ‘water’ and add the fact that instead of creating puddles at your feet your allowing rainbows to happen in the sky.

Our physical vessels are called vessels because we ride them on the flow.  With the flow.  And our trip is much more fun when we surrender and enjoy the journey.

So many times we hear that ‘it is not about the destination, it is the journey’ that is so very true.  I would add though that it doesn’t matter if we feel we are going the wrong way from our destination on the flow. Sometimes the destination we consciously choose is worlds apart from the ones we are guided to and life is about alignment with the fact that everything is as it should be, all the time, in every given moment.
Acceptance of that and surrendering the need to want to have control over it is a key factor in finding your happiness






S.L. Gordon

The Call of the Rider

I saw her, way down below me. Though it wasn't the sight of her that made me change my flight path. It was her energy, which seemed to penetrate my very soul, crying out as it did, into what it seemed to think was a hollow world.

I dove quickly, in a downward spiral, the wind assulting my eyes and nostrils in my haste to reach her. I saw the point of which she felt me. Her eyes suddenly flew upwards searching the skies, for what she did not know could be.
Clouds kept me hidden breifly from her sight but as I broke through thier cover her sudden intake of air was almost like taking it from my own lungs.

It was always like this, when they first saw me in my true form. Of course she had never known me in any other form so I could expect nothing less then shock and yet from her there was no feeling of shock, there was no familiar feeling of awe or fear for that matter. There was a welcoming feeling of Love.
This had been what I had felt from all those miles above I was sure. I was never a 'rescue the damsel in distress' type. There was something about her call that was neither begging for help nor questioning equality.
As I pulled myself to a stop beside her on that mountain top, my heart, for one brief moment, paused. From what, since years before hand, had become its sole job of pumping blood around my huge body.

I towered over her, my long neck arched proudly. Steam gently whisped from my nostrils, usually of course it would be smoke but after the wind whistling through my nose and mouth in my sudden decent from so high, at the moment it was an even more harmless vapour.

Her slender yet muscled arms unwrapped from thier comforting postion of hugging her knees to her chest. She stood. Everything about her was perfect. She was well toned, strong in mind, body and spirit. A sword hung from its sheath attached by a belt around her waist.
This woman was no slave.
She faced me, looking me up and down as she did so. Her eyes seemed to take in every aspect of my being at once in thier scan. They narrowed slightly and I knew this to be in approval. Already I felt an insane drive to please her.

'Come Dragon, we shall walk'
Her tone was not to be questioned, it sent a thrill through my long neglected bones.
I stood before her naked beneath my scaley armour, I knew I could no more defend myself from her then I could from myself I slowly walked toward her until we stood facing each other. I started to turn, as to fall into step beside her.

'No. Wait.'  Again her tone commanded obediance.

I stopped in my tracks. She looked into my eyes and outstretched her hand running it gently down the side of my neck sending a tingle of shockwaves cascading throughout my body.
'You have nothing to fear Dragon' she whispered.
And so it was that I was hers. from that instant. Who else but a rider feels a Dragons fears. Who else but a rider can ease a Dragons soul. Who else but a rider knows without questioning the power of a Dragon how to soothe them so instantly.
'May I ride?' her tone this time was not a command but a question. It did not demand anything from me that I was not willing to give. It was request for my service.
'Of course Mistress, but we must honour the code.'

She removed what I had at first assumed was a belt from her waist. Upon closer inspection I understood its true use as she had. My collar.

As she fastend it around my neck she kissed my cheek with delicate soft lips and spoke directly to my soul as she murmoured into my ear.
"Thank you My Dragon."

In perfect harmony we flew for years and years, journeying through the seven skies together. Until to my distress I felt her begin to slide. The pull of the human physical exsistance overtaking her spiritual bond with me. I struggled onwards, shifting my body from side to side to try to keep her on board until in one devestating moment I realised she had gone.

I couldn't pinpoint the moment she had slipped. I circled backwards searching endlessly for years more looking for her but as is the case with a rider. When they are over the ride there is no connection left.

My soul cried out in agony at the realisation that dawned on me with the awareness of my new found weightlessness. For a Dragon without its rider is a lonely being indeed. We do not need a rider. We do not search for a rider. We are given a rider. For a dragon to loose its rider is like loosing a wing. It sends you spiralling in circles until you can counterbalance the weight that is missing within yourself.
I found her once, only briefly, long enough to understand that she was truely gone. I now I fly straight once more, without the tourmenting circles that had plagued me. A part of my soul will always miss her. My first rider. Yet the universe comforts me and tells me there is someone else who can ride. I want to look and yet I am forbidden.

For to look for a rider would only mean that you would not see when a rider has chosen you. Once more I am at peace with flying solo. I am happy in my journey, knowing I need only myself for my protection, and yet a part of me waits. Waits to once more hear that familiar call. And it knows that the lesson in loosing her was understanding when to cease flying and walk the instant my rider starts to slip until once more we can fly.





S.L. Gordon